Deep Water Read online

  She was a marvelous cook when she wanted to be. Her meat was always roasted to perfection; her salads were colorful and flavored with homemade dressings. She was the perfect homemaker, complete with her hair and makeup professionally done.

  I think my mother liked to have Mrs. Walsh over because it made her feel superior. Mrs. Walsh had a dumpy figure, thickened by having Ewan and then exacerbated by age. Her hair was cut short in no particular style, and her nail polish was often chipped. However, Mrs. Walsh had married a more successful man, and that must have irked my Mom to no end.

  Mom towered over her in her heels as she greeted them, kissing their cheeks in welcome. Dad and I followed suit as we waited behind her like her entourage. Ewan had come as well; at least that would make the night more bearable.

  My mother sat at the head of the table like a queen and made polite conversation with Mrs. Walsh while Dad spoke to Mr. Walsh about business. Ewan and I spoke about people we knew and parties that were coming up.

  “Are you going to Lena’s party?” he asked in a low voice. “I’m going after this if you want a ride.” I hadn’t really been out since that last disastrous encounter with Joseph. I didn’t have a chance to answer Ewan because suddenly voices were raised. We hadn’t been paying attention to the adults’ conversation, my mother’s charming voice had dominated the conversation, but I had long ago learned to tune out her voice.

  But then it turned into a screech, she was on her feet as she pounded her fists down on the table, that made the china rattle. Her glare was directed at my father, and her lips were drawn back to expose her teeth. His face was red, and he slowly got to his feet as well.

  “You’re making a scene,” he hissed at her.

  “I don’t care!” she shrieked. “You think that I’m just going to sit here quietly while you humiliate me? You think I’m just going to be that obedient little doll you married to look pretty on your arm. Do you know who he’s fucking?”

  Her eyes scanned us all now. “Anna Ward, that ugly bitch of a lawyer.” She let out a laugh. “I tell you what, she must be excellent in bed to make up for her looks. Or do you have the lights turned off, Dan?” she sneered.

  “That’s enough, Mandy.” Dad’s teeth were gritted, and he looked like he was just holding on to his temper.

  I cleared my throat. “Mom, maybe you should go lie down until you feel better. We have guests…” I prepared myself for her reaction, but I figured that I was already mortified by her behavior, it couldn’t get any worse.

  Her eyes zeroed in on me as she shook her head, “Oh, no. Don’t you take his side. Don’t you dare. You’re my daughter. Not his. You just remember that.”

  I saw the three heads of the Walsh family spin to watch me. This was obviously news to them.

  “Don’t put this on her! Go upstairs, now!” The anger and intensity in my father’s voice made me jump. It also got my mother’s attention. She smashed a plate to the ground before trampling through the broken shards.

  “Fuck you!” she threw at us over her shoulder as she marched up the stairs.

  Now, there was silence. Our guests didn’t know where to look. Dad sunk slowly into his chair, his hands in fists.

  “Doug, Evelyn.” He let out a breath. “I don’t know what to say. All I can do is apologize.”

  Mrs. Walsh reached over and patted his hand. “No need, Dan.”

  Mr. Walsh cleared his throat. “Perhaps we should go.”

  Before they left, I overheard Mrs. Walsh take Dad aside and say she’d been told about an excellent psychiatrist who was new to the area. I didn’t hear what Dad said because Ewan was embracing me.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “Me? Sure.” I said with a smile. His eyes searched me like he was looking for more of a reaction. This obviously wasn’t a regular occurrence in his household. “I’m just embarrassed,” I said finally.

  He gave me a reassuring squeeze on my arm. “Will you come to the party later?”

  “Maybe. I’ll just see how things go here first…”

  After they had left, I started to clear the table. This was the first time my mother had ever done this in front of other people; usually she cared too much about her image to behave this way in public. Dad stood in the doorway watching me.

  “About what she said…you are my kid, you know that, right? I’ve raised you since you were born. Nothing she says will ever change that.”

  I stacked plates, suddenly feeling like crying. “I know. It just sucks every time she says it.” I let out a breath. “And now other people know…”

  He came over and hugged me, stroking my hair. I hugged him back and sniffed away my tears.

  “Listen. Leave all this for the morning. I’m going to go for a drive and get some air. Okay?”

  “Okay.” He gave me a quick squeeze before releasing me. “Love you.”

  “You too.”

  I cleaned up anyway after he was gone. I had just thrown what remained of the broken plate in the trash when my mother came down. She went straight to her vodka stash. Her lipstick was smeared, and her eye makeup smudged around eyes swollen from crying. She poured herself a drink and then leaned against the counter, watching me. I didn’t acknowledge her until she spoke.

  “You like him more than me.”

  I didn’t look at her as I loaded the last plate into the dishwasher. “I don’t.”

  “If he’d known I was pregnant when he met me, he would have run a mile. You just remember that. I made him fall in love with me. I made sure you had a family.”

  “Whatever, Mom. It’s getting late. Maybe you should go to bed.”

  She stepped closer to me.

  “He’s going to leave us for that Anna bitch and forget all about us. You might like to keep that in mind.”

  I slammed the door of the dishwasher shut. “You’re drunk, Mom. You should go to bed.”

  I finally met her eyes; she was staring at me. Her face was emotionless. “You are so ungrateful, you know that? If you only knew the life that I saved you from. You live like a fucking little princess here, and that’s all because of me.”

  Anger sparked in me. “Actually, that’s because of Dad and the money he brings in. Not you. You’re just a drunk sloth that leeches off of him and–”

  Crack! Her hand slapped me with such speed that I couldn’t have been sure that it actually happened if not for the sting on my cheek. I clutched my face, staring at her in shock.

  Her mouth was open, and she looked like she couldn’t believe what she’d done. “I–I’m sorry.” She looked like she was about to cry again.

  I dropped my hand from my cheek and forced a smile. “It’s fine. It hardly hurts,” I lied. “Please go to bed, Mom. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

  Slowly, the look of horror disappeared, and she smiled as well, happy to play along with the lie. “All right. Goodnight sweetheart. I love you.”

  “You too, Mom.”

  I waited until I heard her bedroom door shut before I grabbed my phone and headed out. My face still hurt and I probably should have put ice on it, but I just wanted to get out of there. Lena only lived a few streets over, and I could hear the party going on long before I saw it. People were gathered both inside as well as out on the patio, and I decided to stay outside to avoid the light in case my cheek was still red. I found Eve and my friends and got a beer from them. But they went over to speak to a group of boys that Ewan was part of, and I couldn’t stand to see him. My embarrassment from the evening hadn’t yet passed.

  So instead I headed to the pool area. It was cordoned off because Lena didn’t want anyone drowning in there, but I climbed easily over the fence without spilling a single drop of my beer.

  I sat on the edge of the pool and dipped my feet in the water. It was still warm from the day. I pressed the beer against my aching face, wishing it was colder. I heard a thump behind me. Joseph had also climbed the fence.

  I turned my head away, back to the water. He had a
six pack of beer that he placed on the side of the pool before sitting beside me. He grabbed one out and opened it as he kicked off his shoes and put his feet in the water as well.

  “What happened to your face?”

  My eyes darted to him quickly. “Nothing. Why.” How could he know? It was too dark to see out here. The outside lights only offered a dim illumination.

  “You’re holding the beer to your face.”

  I moved the beer away. “Habit.” I lifted my beer to my lips and started to drink it.

  He casually put his hand on my thigh. I shifted my leg. “Don’t touch me.” He didn’t move his hand.

  “You’re still mad? I thought you would have cooled off by now.”

  I lifted my beer to my lips and took a sip before saying sullenly, “You tried to have sex with me.”

  “Of course I did. You’re a pretty girl.” He started to rub his hand up and down my leg. It felt nice in spite of everything.

  “Can you go away now? Please?”

  “You don’t want that. You like me, remember?”

  I gave a slight snort and finished my beer. He immediately opened another and passed it to me. I took it, touching his fingers as I did so.

  He leaned in close and whispered, “Want to go skinny dipping? No touching. I promise.”

  “You’re touching me right now.” I looked at his hand on my thigh. “Besides, I don’t want to add to your image of me as a, what was it? A cock tease?”

  He leaned away from me, a small grin on his face. “Okay. I might have got a little carried away. It was a shitty day made worse by you rejecting me. I’m sorry.”

  “You slept with Katrin.”

  He removed his hand from my leg and gripped his beer bottle with both hands. “Yes, I did.”

  That was it. He didn’t say anything else as we sat beside each other. I felt more awkward as each second passed. Then Lena lifted her head up over the fence.

  “Hey, you guys aren’t allowed back here!”

  Joseph boosted me over the fence, before passing over his beer to me then climbing over.

  “Hey, there you are.” Ewan came over to us just as Joseph jumped down beside me. “I was wondering if you’d turn up.” He embraced me in a drunken hug. “Are you okay?” His voice was full of concern, and maybe he meant to whisper it, but it came out loud. Several people on the patio beside us turned to look.

  “I’m fine.” I struggled out of his embrace, stepping back onto the patio. But I must have stepped into the light because a frown came over his face and he reached up to grip my chin as he examined me.

  “Ouch, Ewan. Let go.”

  But he didn’t. “Did she do this to you? She’s a nutcase!” More people were looking now, and I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. “You should report her for this–”

  “Ewan! Stop it,” I hissed. “People are looking.”

  He let go. “Sorry,” he said in a quieter voice. “I’m sorry.”

  I pulled away. “It’s fine. I’m going to go,” I mumbled as I walked away, drinking my beer as I did so and heading for the road, away from prying eyes.

  “Jessica!” Joseph jogged up beside me. “I’ll walk you home.”

  I picked up my pace. “There’s no need. This is a good neighborhood.”

  His pace matched mine. “But those are the worst ones.”

  I twisted my head to look at him, frowning. “What do you mean?”

  “Because they’re filled with the kind of people who put on facades. They’re more dangerous because you have no idea what’s lurking underneath. For example, take that house there.” He pointed up to a large white McMansion. “The guy that owns that is a sadist. He visits brothels and pays prostitutes so he can whip them. Imagine if he saw a girl like you walking past, all alone. He may not be able to resist. You’d be bound in his basement before you knew it.”

  I scoffed. “You’re being stupid.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Am I?”

  “Yes.” I walked away, but he followed.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll protect you, though.”

  “Oh, really. How do you know this whip-wielding sadist doesn’t like good looking boys like you. Maybe you’ll be his next victim,” I teased. “Anyway, maybe it’s you I need protecting from.”

  He passed me a beer as I drained the last of mine.

  “Nah. I’m pretty open about all my flaws. There’s no pretense here.”

  He walked me to my door. “You gonna invite me it?” he asked with an exaggerated leer.

  I grinned at him. “No way in hell.”

  I shut the door in his face.

  Chapter Eight

  I was the first one awake. The first thing I did was check the mirror, but my face was clear and there was no sign of last night’s events marking me. Whether my parents were even home or not, I did not know, but I didn’t want to risk dealing with them. I dressed in my one piece swimsuit, grabbed a towel and headed out to the lake. It was only six o’clock in the morning, but I could tell it was going to be a scorching hot day already.

  I dived into the water that had yet to warm. It felt cool and refreshing on my skin as I cut through the water with powerful arms. Using the freestyle stroke, I swam out to one of the buoys, before turning back and heading to the platform. I pulled myself up it and sat there, the sun was already pleasant on my skin, warming me to the perfect temperature.

  I could tell it was Joseph swimming out just by his technique. He was so graceful, making each stroke look effortless. I watched as he climbed the ladder, droplets sprinkling over me as he collapsed down beside me.

  “Why are you up so early?” I asked him.

  He looked at me. “Why are you? I come here every morning before work.”

  I lay back down and yawned. This was early for me. “Where do you work?”

  “All over. My boss buys houses and renovates them to sell when the market’s good. I do a lot of the demolition work, but he’s teaching me some of the carpentry stuff too. It’s cool. Beats working in the supermarket or something like that. What about you?”

  “I don’t have a job.” I closed my eyes, waiting for him to make some smartass comment about that, but he didn’t.

  “You should come see the house we’re working on at the moment. My boss let me do a lot of the stuff myself. It’s looking really good.”

  I opened my eyes and sat up again, studying him with a half-smile on my face.

  He frowned. “What?”

  “Do you invite all the girls you want to sleep with to see your work, or is it just me?” I teased.

  He rolled his eyes. “Jeez. Calm down. It’s not a fucking marriage proposal or anything. I probably still won’t call you after we have sex.”

  I brushed my wet hair back from my face and shook my head at him. “Look at you. So arrogant…and deluded. Thinking that I actually would sleep with you.”

  He shrugged. “It’s not arrogance, Jessica. It’s fact. You like me. You said it yourself–”

  “Used to. I said I used to like you.”

  “Whatever. You’re hot for me. I can tell. Don’t be embarrassed. Look at me? Who wouldn’t be hot for me?” He ran a hand through his hair and gave an exaggerated pose that sent me into a fit of giggles.

  He got to his feet with a grin. “Anyway, I can’t sit here all day just so you can salivate over my body. I’ve got work to do. I’ll race you back.” He held a hand out to help me up. I took it, but then he took me by surprise by pushing me into the water.

  I hit it with a splash, and by the time I surfaced he was swimming at speed back to shore. I took after him as fast as I could, but he still made it out of the water before me. He was drying himself with a towel while a satisfied smile sat on his face.

  “What took you so long?” he asked innocently.

  I grabbed my towel. “You play dirty.”

  He winked. “I bet you like how dirty I can be.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Haven’t you got a job to get to?”
<
br />   “Yes, yes I do.” And he started to walk casually back to his car. Just when I thought he wasn’t going to engage with me further, he turned around and yelled, “31 Hargreaves Street. I’ll see you later, Jess-i-ca.” Then he blew me a kiss that left me standing there with my mouth half open until he got into his car and drove away. Then that mouth started to twitch back up into a smile that I couldn’t stop.

  The Hargreaves house was an old villa that was slowly being transformed back into something beautiful. Joseph showed me around, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say there was pride in his voice as he showed it off. He had his top off, and his skin glistened with sweat. He seemed bruise free, and I couldn’t help but pay more attention to his body than the house.

  He caught me staring, but just gave a smirk as I turned away in embarrassment.

  After that, he took me to lunch.

  I sat opposite him in a nearby diner. He was staring at me, and I was feeling extremely self-conscious.

  “What?” I asked finally.

  “I was just looking at your face.”

  “Oh. Well, stop it.”

  The waitress came to take our orders then.

  “I’ll have a burger and fries, and a coke.” Joseph looked over at me.

  “I’ll have a garden salad, no dressing, and no cheese. And a bottle of water.” I handed the menu back to the waitress as she walked away. Joseph was looking at me, frowning.

  “That sounds…really horrible. Don’t you want to eat something nice?”

  I leaned forward. “You mean do I want to eat something that’s laden with fat and grease that will make me look like a big, fat heifer? No, I don’t.”

  His eyes scanned my body now. “You’re all skin and bone. You could do with some more meat on you.”

  “Oh, really. I thought you said my body was ‘perfect’ the other week.”

  He leaned back, grinning. “Don’t throw my words back at me.”

  “I can’t help it. You irritate me to no end,” I teased.